Is Die Hard a Christmas Movie? A Definitive Ruling

IN THE MATTER OF Die Hard (1988, VHS, ex-rental, slightly sticky). Before the Honourable Bench of One Velociraptor, sitting in sunglasses, holding a tape.

This tribunal has been asked, as it is asked every single December by people who should really let it go, to rule once and for all on the question: is Die Hard a Christmas movie? Having reviewed the evidence at length, and having rewound the relevant sections by hand, the Bench delivers the following judgment.

The evidence for the prosecution (the 'it's just an action film' crowd)

• There is a great deal of shooting.
• There is an exploding building.
• It is, on the face of it, not very festive.

The evidence for the defence (the correct people)

• It takes place at a Christmas party, on Christmas Eve.
• The entire plot depends on a family reunion for the holidays.
• There is a Santa hat, festive music, and a man crawling through ductwork in the general spirit of chimney-based delivery.
• It is, structurally, a story about a man travelling home for Christmas to reconcile with his family, with some light property damage.

The ruling

The Bench finds that a film set at Christmas, about Christmas, driven by Christmas, is a Christmas movie, regardless of how many henchmen fall off the roof. A story does not stop being a Christmas story simply because it is also extremely loud. Indeed, this tribunal would argue that being extremely loud is deeply in the spirit of the season.

IT IS SO ORDERED. Die Hard is a Christmas movie. The matter is closed. Court is adjourned so the Bench can go rewind it again. Yippee, and so forth.