How to Build a Retro Corner
The people are ditching the endless scroll and building little retro corners, and quite right too. A retro corner is a small physical shrine to actually owning your entertainment. Here is how to assemble one, in order of importance.
The genuinely important bits
- A CRT television. The chunky glass kind. VHS was made for it, looks correct on it, and looks faintly wrong on anything flat and modern. Weighs roughly as much as a small car. Worth it.
- A working VCR, wired up and ready, remote within reach.
- A crate of tapes. A milk crate is traditional. Spine-out, so you can flick through them with your thumb like a proper video shop.
- Soft, warm lamp light. No overhead fluorescents. A single lamp with a warm bulb sets the entire mood.
- A comfy chair positioned for a fixed runtime with no 'are you still watching?' A footstool is encouraged.
The non-negotiable bit
A velociraptor figurine. This is not optional. We have thought about this extensively and there is simply no version of a retro corner that is complete without a small plastic dinosaur watching over it, ideally wearing sunglasses if you can source them, standing sentinel atop the CRT (but NOT, we remind you, directly on top of a tape, because that is on top of a TV, which is near the speakers, which is magnetic, see our care guide, the raptor does not want to hear about your ruined tapes).
Optional flourishes
- A rewinder shaped like a sports car. Peak 1990s. Rewinds without wearing your VCR.
- A 'Be Kind, Rewind' sticker, applied to something.
- A single houseplant, to imply you have your life together.
- Absolutely no clock that displays the correct time. The VCR should be flashing 12:00. It is the law.
Assemble, dim the lamp, pick a tape by hand, and enjoy the quiet triumph of a night that no algorithm chose for you. The raptor approves.
